Sunday, July 27, 2008
I spoke (blogged) too soon about not being worried "per se." I am now worried. Not that my worry does anyone or anything any good. I hate the unknown. Give me a crappy life or a really lame set of cards to play in life and I'll scrape by--I'll manage. But NOT knowing what I'm dealing with (ie-what will happen in the next 2+ weeks) is about to make me insane. I already have trouble sleeping. I am always fatigued. I can nap during the day, but try not to. At night though, even if I'm exhausted my brain just keeps trekking....and I say to myself, "Self: Please just shut up and go to sleep already." That rarely does the trick though. I got myself several good books to take with me up there while I am just sitting, waiting. Daddy said he'll come stay with me the first couple nights so I don't have to be alone. He has no idea how much that means to me. Dad and I have been together in many a waiting room, just waiting. Not wanting to talk, just needing to be.... not alone.