Saturday, January 29, 2011

Snow Trip Jan 2011

We had lots and lots of lofty plans for this particular snow trip...none of which were to see the light of day apparently. Natalie broke her foot a few days before we left, so we had to change our plans.... a lot.

It turned out just fine. We just didn't snowboard or snow shoe or ski. (But Alicia and I have plans to escape here again real soon, to do just that!)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Mission San Rafael

Day trip with the 4th grader and 3 year old. Surprisingly fun. Amazingly beautiful. Reminded that God is everywhere... (and I can feel it) when my guard isn't up. Hmmm. Also, pretty special to note that my mama attended Dominican College San Rafael. It felt good to be near her old stomping grounds.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

One Day

Cough. Cough cough cough. Must get out of bed to get to water. Resist urge to open eyes. FEEL my way into the bathroom without opening my eyes. Find my cup. Drink water. Good? Cough. Darn. Feel my way back to bed. It FEELS like it’s midnight. I should have plenty of time to fall asleep and sleep. Cough. Toss. Turn. Cough cough. Alarm goes off. Tell it I hate it. Again.

Grab clean clothes from dryer and pile them on my bed. Move clothes from washer into dryer. Iron my clothes for presentation today. Wake up Lu. She pleads for 5 more minutes. Wake up Nat. She pleads for 5 more minutes. I hop in the shower. Close my eyes. Positive I could actually fall asleep while standing up if just given the chance. Shampoo in hair. Emi cries from her crib. I holler that I’m almost done. She cries louder.

Lu up. Can’t find her clothes that she set out the night before. Nat up and to the shower. Emi back in bed with a baba. (Yes I know she’s 3 and shouldn't have a baba, but I don’t care right now. It’s not liquor and it’s not meth. Deal with it people. It’s milk from a cow. And cows are cute, and so that makes it ok. OK?) Lu also can’t find any of her shoes or any of her socks. She sits down to pout. Knock at the door. Her ride is here. And they are waiting. Lu can’t find her homework. Or her PE clothes or her sweatshirt. Somethings are found and others are not. I grab her a sweatshirt as she runs out the door. She refuses to take the sweatshirt. She says it’s ugly. I say it's 29 degrees outside. She leaves without a sweatshirt.

Nat out of shower and half dressed. Brings me a stack of papers I need to look through, initial, sign, stare at, I don’t know. But I’m trying to remember what it was that I HAD to remember this morning… and I can’t remember. Tell Nat to put pants on first and then I’ll look at the papers. She can’t find her pants, and therefore bursts into tears, and falls dramatically to the hallway floor. And she says she can’t get the knot out of her shoe laces to put on her shoe either, and so she just can’t deal. (What 9 year old says she ‘just can’t deal’ ?)

Slip on slippers and run to car to warm it up. Handles on car doors frozen. Grab yesterday’s Starbucks coffee cup and other garbage missives to throw away in the house. Slippers don’t have good traction, fyi. Especially on cold mornings with ice on the ground. Concentrate. Just gotta stay upright to the front door. Front door success! Forgot to put garbage out. Which was the real reason I started to grab the garbage from the car. Back out to garage. Cans hauled up the driveway.

Nat finds her almost dried pants in the dryer. She’s almost happy. But not really. She brings the stack of papers back. I put her off again, because now I need to get Emi up. Because I need to leave in the next 10 minutes to make it to the meeting I’m presenting in this morning. Emi is pee-pee’d (from the baba I gave her. Yes I already know that too. Thank you very much) and MUST take a bath. She shivers her little naked body while I try to eek out some warm water, but know there’s not much left after Natalie and I both took showers this morning. Dunk her just long enough to scrub and sanitize.

Phone rings. It’s Grampy. Ready to pick up Nat and Emi since I need to get to work early for the meeting, and he’s waiting at the top of the driveway. Find Emi warm clothes, but she insists on wearing the guitar undies and guitar shirt so she can be just like Auntie B. I remind her Auntie B PLAYS the guitar, and does not condone wearing ONLY guitar undies and shirt when it’s this cold outside. She must wear pants, and socks, and shoes, and a sweatshirt too. Emi very miffed that she doesn’t get her way. Kids to Grampy.

Run to car, pull out of driveway. STOP! Remember what I MUST remember! My notes for today’s meeting are in the truck! Aha! I run/skid down icy driveway to truck. Which is locked. Oh for the love of Peet, people.

Today’s trip to Starbucks a bit more rushed that usual. I may actually be late if I stop. But must caffeinate. So I stop. Loooonnnng line. Get to counter. “Good morning, Chai.” Yes, they call me chai. It’s just far more efficient than using my name. And then he hands me my chai, which was made before I ever placed my order. I tell him I love him, which to others must be awkward, especially in a coffee shop. But it’s true. This is my saving grace for the day.

Slide into meeting with a minute to spare. Very consciously slow my breathing so I’m not out of breath. Projecting an image of cool, calm, and confident cannot be accomplished if I’m out of breath. And then I notice the missing button on my blouse. Pull jacket tighter and let this presentation rip like I OWN this place =D

Meeting done. Run down the hallway to beloved Stacie for a kiss and hug and then back UP the mountain I go, because I forgot that TODAY was the day that I am meeting with the home owner’s insurance people from Farmers… in 30 minutes. And I shudder thinking about the wreckage of 3 kids and mommy getting ready this morning and what the house must look like to an outsider.

Once back at the office, I realize I haven’t eaten yet today. Forgot my oatmeal in the may lay this morning. But don’t have time to run and get something, ‘cause I’m due on a conference call in 4 minutes. Dad calls my cell, but I can’t take the call. He calls back again a few minutes later. And I assume he must have left a message that was lengthy and so needed to call back and leave the rest of the message. After meeting, I call dad back. Cannot call him directly as he does not like to use his cell phone that way. Must call his voicemail #, which will page him, which will tell him he has a message waiting to be picked up. And then once he uses his cell to call into the VM he will then hear my return message. Incredibly inefficient, for an fabulously brilliant man.

Can’t for the life of me remember if today is Wednesday or Thursday? The kids’ school schedule is a little wacky this week… or is that next week? Pretty sure it’s Wednesday which means Emi will be with Grandma, Lu will go with Robin after school, and I think I’m supposed to get Nat from homework club. Now if I can just remember to get milk and toilet paper on the way home, make sure I not only pay my bills, but also stamp AND mail them, be sure Lu is coming along in her Egyptian Warrior project, check on Natalie’s Mission report, reconcile dad’s medical expenses, pay his help, fill up the car with gas, remember the truck has an appt tomorrow, sign Natalie’s field trip permission slip and pay the money, quiz Natalie on her division facts, remind Lu (again) that she still may NOT have a facebook, sign the kids up for camp before the end of the week when the early bird discount expires, make my eye appointment, schedule Lu for her follow up at Stanford, check in on the life insurance claim, remember to make my kids’ dentists appointments, and remember that Monday is a holiday for only my children but never for me… I should be fine.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Lots and lots to share about, and just not enough words to make it all happen. Here goes:

Dad had open lung surgery(thoracotomy) at Stanford on Monday the 3rd. He is doing well. A few minor set backs. I think I'm overly sensitive to these things... so sometimes I need to take a step back. But then times of crisis, I'm just fine. I guess I just don't do well with 'normal' situations anymore. Anyhoo... they were aiming for 4 tumors in the left lung, and actually came out with 5. All pathology showed NO active cancer. This is great. He has since been transferred back to his favorite (is it bad to have a favorite??) nursing home in Palo Alto. He's a little unsteady on his feet, and pain is more apparent, but he remains in relatively good spirits.

Meanwhile, the kids are back in school after Christmas vacation. Which I was almost thankful for... and then I remembered all that darn homework. I thought I was done with school??? :(

The kids and Alicia and Jackson and I surprised James' mom and Jack by showing up for Christmas dinner all in our matching hoodie-footie pajamas! SOOOO AWESOME! Even one for Abigail (the dog) and one for Gram and Gramps too. It was nice to have a common denominator that was fun and playful, and not just heartache.
The work on the house is nearing completion.... I keep telling myself at least. The bathrooms are done. I thought that the kitchen just needed the gas hooked up to the stove, a piece of back splash, a light fixture, and the old fridge swapped out for the new. Functionally, it was fine. Visually...coming right along. Until I came home one day this week thinking we were sooo close to being done. I forgot about a new window over the sink... and came home to that wall gone. Oy. Some day. Some day.
I took the kids out a few weekends ago... and was just cruising right along. Not a clue I was speeding. Not a clue. Nat was in the front seat and we were singing our little hearts out. And then I hear the siren. Right behind me. Darn iiiiiiittttttttt. I've vowed to never try to talk my way out of a ticket. It just seems dumb. I mean, if I was speeding, then I was speeding. So this CHP seems nice. He says he clocked me going 77. And kind of shakes his head. I shake my head too and tell him I'm sorry. He asks what the hurry is? "We were singing, officer. Just got a little carried away." AAaannnddd he laughs :) So I think I'm good, right? Wrong! That's when my beloved Nat leans over from the front passenger seat and says, "Last time she got pulled over and got a ticket she was playing the air guitar!" Oh Natalie.... Thank you for sharing that. Nothing like showing the officer there is a pattern here. Long story short. I didn't get a ticket. But I have been amply humbled.

My birthday was also in there somewhere. Dad was so sweet and wanted to take me out to dinner and maybe a movie. I wanted to, but the thought of being alone with my thoughts in the presence of one other person, when the focus is me, on my special day... I just couldn't do. Too much. So instead we had my birthday dinner with lots of family at a noisy restaurant. Much better. Really, I think I'd just like to be invisible.