Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Multiple Choice! **Revised**

Q1: A small child who is vaguely familiar under layers of dirt and mud enters your front door and is missing which of the following:
  1. sanity
  2. a set of vocal chords
  3. her shoes
  4. her diaper

Q2: On the bathroom floor today you would find:

  1. a half eaten quesadilla
  2. lack of toilet paper
  3. a suspiciously hidden black marker
  4. all of the above

Q3: Today your boss is proud of you because:

  1. You finally washed your car
  2. You refrained from setting out a whoopee cushion before the CEO sat down
  3. Your use of acronyms in the medical field is outstanding
  4. You remember your name and how to spell it today

Q4: The smallest child in the household has musical tendencies leaning towards:

  1. classical
  2. rap
  3. "Free credit report dot com" commercials
  4. polka

Q5: Which child insisted on singing "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" to the pastor:

  1. not mine
  2. oh please not mine
  3. oh my goodness oh my goodness
  4. Nat

Q5: You've purchased several packets of specific flowers seeds to plant in specific parts of the yard. How do they get planted?

  1. slight change in the layout plans, but pretty much the same idea
  2. when you are taking a much needed nap your children decide to open all(30) packets, mix them together, the spin themselves in circles as they let handfuls of seeds go
  3. hubby decides to plant them for you
  4. the Fairy-God-Mother-Gardener tills, fertilizes and plants each seed with a kiss and a blessing of life long beautiful flowers

Q6: When changing the baby's diaper she:

  1. stays perfectly still
  2. tries to poo as soon as you take her diaper off
  3. says "no touch" which makes you feel like a pedophile but you were trying to teach her not to touch her poo and pee, but instead she now says it to you
  4. both 2+3

Q7: When your father calls on the phone, he identifies himself by:

  1. first and last name
  2. he doesn't he just starts talking
  3. giving his resume
  4. tapping his name in Morse code in a pre-coded language that involves reverse polish notation in case the spies are listening in

Q8: On a blessed day without any kids or hubby in the home, you look forward to:

  1. peeing with no interruptions
  2. eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner
  3. sleeping in a bed all to yourself

Q9: Lu is most excited to go to the doctor's because:

  1. she has a crush on the doctor
  2. she gets out of school for a day
  3. she LOVES listening to you sing all the way to the doctor's and back
  4. she totally digs getting car sick on the way over and getting shots once she gets there

Q10: As you are rushing like an insane, under-slept, over-caffeinated parent, wife, daughter, manager, pupil on any given morning, trying to find pants that aren't too wrinkly, putting breakfast on the table, packing lunches, washing laundry, signing field trip forms, trying desperately to keep the iron away from the baby, you say to the baby who is attacking you and the iron with a stuffed chicken and a stick, "take your chicken and your stick and go bye bye." What does she do next?

  1. continue to climb over you to get to the hot iron
  2. has her feelings hurt and starts to cry
  3. takes her chicken and her stick and walks away
  4. takes her chicken and her stick and walks away, grabbing her shoes and waits by the door and says excitedly "we go bye bye?"

Q11: Your new morning beverage of choice is:

  1. hot chocolate
  2. tea
  3. strong coffee
  4. cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte

****Final Extra Credit Question Posted 1:30am 5/28****

Q12: While there are many reasons to not be blogging around 730-830... tonight's prevailing reason would be:

  1. because all the kids are going to magically go to sleep early tonight and you'd better jump at the chance to snuggle into bed early
  2. because you should have already called your kids in tonight instead of letting them continue to play with the neighborhood kids outside
  3. because you should be spending quality time reading to your children to strengthen their vocabulary and discernment
  4. because Nat will inevitably go flying over the handlebars of the bike and land on her face. You'll need to stop the bleeding, scrape the gravel out of her cheek and nose and inside her lip, get to the ER stat so she can get a cat scan to make sure her nose, forehead and cheekbones are still all attached where they should be.


Brittany said...

OH!!! Poor Nat! Poor Mama! Hugs to all! BTW, I'm pretty sure I got most of the answers right. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, Natalie, I hurt for you. We can compare what happens when we fall off our bikes.
I won't even try to answer all the questions, just laugh with you.

Love you,
Granma Gail