This has been a really funky week. Not like 'funky' like I'm grooving to disco, more like 'funky' I seem to be in a funk this week. Too bad it wasn't the other way around, 'cause that could be kind of fun actually.
At work I've been really under the gun, not in a bad way, just needed for more things. It's job security really. But most weeks I'll have the every day grind and maybe 1, possibly 2 big projects a week. Totally do-able, keeps me on my toes. This last week in ADDITION to being funky, I had 7 projects, last minute "needs to be done yesterday" things drop right in my lap. ICK ICK ICK. I struggled through every bit of it. But I did make it out alive.
I am often busy, but what I really cherish are quiet times, peacefulness, and simple things. (On a side note, I got a friend a card last week whose dad was dying. I didn't know what to say other than the normal. But I needed her to know that I was thinking about her every second, and re-living my own loss of my mom, while she was going through this. So I got her a card, meaningful and a little light hearted--just my style. The front said "Quiet meditation is good. Quiet meditation with cookies is better," and the inside "I have access to cookies." I left the card and a bag of cookies where she would find it later that day.
But that card got me thinking. I don't take enough time to make these quiet, peaceful, simple things a priority, and I should. It's in those moments that I can reconnect with God. It's like I'm this busy earth body, but I have to pull in and refuel, so I can run for another week. (More than just a once a week church thing.) So I made a conscious effort despite my funkiness to find these times. Maybe it wasn't that I needed MORE of them, maybe it was that there were plenty out there ready for the taking if I could just open my eyes and see them.
I did find these times this week:
-I spent the most meaningful time with my friend when her dad died later this week
-I enjoyed a good book for a few minutes every night before I fell asleep
-I had lunch with an old friend of my mom's who I'd never met before
-I spent more time than usual each night in prayer
-I didn't rush through my phone calls with my dad
-I sang to Jesus when I sang out loud- it wasn't just words to me
Then this evening, I met with a small group like I have done in the past. This time used to be MY time, but then life got busy and I didn't show up for months. I've re-committed to this group and it is food for my soul. It is SO good. Tonight was different though. We usually meet in our regular spot inside, but the doors were locked and no one had a key. Instead we spent our time together outdoors tonight.....and it was beautiful. It was quiet and peaceful and simple. I needed this time tonight like I've never needed before. The blessing of this all was that all I had to do was show up and be present, and it found me.