ONE: Part IV

There is more to share, but this is a good first effort for me. In summary, these are the things that no one should ever have to face. But I did. And I lived through it. I AM living through it. I survived:

• the prying eyes, words, questions of others


• the first 5 minutes


• telling his father that James had died


• picking out my husband's casket, plot, and funeral outfit


• having his Marine lieutenant show up at my front door


• writing his obituary


• 21 gun salute


• moment of silence, followed by tones at the fire depart in his honor


• flags at HALF staff for MY husband


• designing his head stone


• waiting for MONTHS for the autopsy results


• first set of: anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and the one year marker


• finding alternate activities for my big girls the night of the father daughter dance


• Emi's questions about if daddy has been in heaven long enough and is ready to come home


• weeding through his clothes, boots, books, possessions


• figuring out how to start and work a damned lawn mower without him


• trying to find closure...this one is still a work in progress.

I have a lot of good memories of his life, and our life together. I'm working on another blog post of some of my favorite memories. But that's still a few weeks out.

Onward...