Wedding Pictures!!!

I am back on-line. Wedded bliss effective 10-14-12. Pictures below. Many more updates to follow... previous posts as well, that I have missed.

:)

YAY



 

 

 

 

Pictures here are snap shots from friends and family. Professional pics to come :)



A Meg Update :)

Wedding plans are underway. This makes me very happy. There are lots of little plans, and big plans, and artistic endeavors, and ethereal visions and what not. I'm loving it. It's a fantastic escape to a little land of happy ever after. I am, by nature, a bit of a recluse. I enjoy staying IN and gardening, and thinking and dreaming and pulling random things together. This is taking all those fairy tale dreams and providing them the opportunity to come spilling out... farther than just the walls of my house.

I guess I've never felt like I had the opportunity to be able to be so creative, and dream, and dream BIG. This is fun, and a little scary, and makes me feel like I should really feel like a grown up, but I just don't. Not at all. But that's ok; it's who I am.

I continue to be so incredibly supported by my mighty friends. I found this new website that really speaks to me. Especially this piece: 15 things REAL friends do differently . I have a very specific group of girlsfriends who have rallied around me, through the good and the bad, the heart ache, and triumphs. They ARE my rock. I just couldn't do any of this without them. So blessed.

Oh yes, and Nick. He is good. Great. Lovely. A blessing as well. Don't know how my sh*tty off track life, ended up in this man's arms. Happiness has been a long time coming, and I am welcoming it with open arms. :)

Evolution of my Iris Garden: Thanks Mommy!!!

Celebration of James' Independence Day

April 6th marked the 2 year anniversary of James' death. Last year I was sick, and really kind of down for the count. (Which was probably pretty timely, actually... to not have to face that day head-on.)

One of James' favorite things to do EVER (which a dear friend reminded me after a fever induced dream...) was to take the girls, and whisk them away to Disneyland. He took them several times, usually last minute, and just beamed being able to take his girls to something like that.

The girls and I had talked for weeks about how we'd like to spend the day. Maybe go to a movie. Go to the park. Go eat at daddy's favorite restaurant. Bring things to his grave. Have a good cry. Look through photo albums. Release balloons with notes. The list went on and on...

But I felt the NEED to do something else. Something BIG and really unexpected. The girls and I never made final plans about Friday, we just left it that I'd need to see if I was able to get off work early on Friday. Thursday night I told the girls I didn't know if I could get off work early Friday, and so I proposed that we get up REALLY early the next morning and go have breakfast with the sunrise and celebrate daddy James. I didn't tell that what time. Because I like to think I'm sneaky sneaky. :)

At 3am Friday morn, Nick and I got up, and finished packing. We got the girls up about 4, and rolled them out of bed. (They were on spring break.) We purposely didn't tell them what awful time in the morning it was. We drove through our little town, and darn it, no restaurants were open, nor the next town, or the next. Shoot. Maybe we're going to have to drive a little bit farther to find breakfast. I told Nick he should drive to the next town and 'keep looking' and then turned back to the girls, trying to pretend to make the most of the time, and asked what their silly daddy would have done? Where would he have gone to breakfast? What were the other fun off the wall things he liked to do? And what did he like to do last minute? Let's think of all those funny things right now as a way to start our celebration. And lo and behold, don't you know, they remembered Disneyland was one of his faves, and theirs too. "How fun," I said. "We should really go to Disneyland sometime and remember daddy. That'd be super fun, wouldn't it?" Oh yes, they said. Too bad I wasn't able to get off work, and that it's too far away, that'd be something really special to do on a day like today..... Heh. I win. I totally WIN.

"Well, then... let's go!" WHAT!?!?!?! I should have taken a picture of their wide little eyes, and sparkle, the excitement well up... it was A.MAZ.ING.

We did stop to have breakfast a few hours later as the sun was coming up. Told lots of great stories and ate lots of super yummy, greasy, sugary breakfast foods until we couldn't eat any longer.

It was a fantastic trip. Short and sweet, made of so much excitement. And then the final piece was for the girls to each pick out a little Disneyland trinket that daddy would have really liked, and when we drove home on Saturday, we went right to James' grave before anything else, and put our gifts there to be with him, and thank him for all the great memories we have.

Pictures below. :)

need my friends

And all of your ideas.... friends, family, and friendly readers. Please.

2nd 'deathaversary'... 'home coming'... what do we call this? Whatever it is, its approaching, fast.

Last year I was sick, and literally lost two weeks, and the 1st anniversary was in there somewhere.

What do I do this year? What do the girls and I do? Im inclined and prepared to approach this as a celebration. Sounds odd. But I want the girls to be encouraged to STILL BE HAPPY, and NOT feel guilty for enjoying life still. We can celebrate james' life, maybe do something he would have liked doing? We can celebrate where he is now, and tho we may miss him, we can imagine all the great things he might be getting to do up there.

But WHAT shall we do? Suggestions? Please and thank you. :)


Xoxoxox

13 !?!?!?!

Really!?!?!?
WHO let this little love muffin (picture above from first day of kindergarten) turn 13? Today little Miss Lulu is 13. Oh how the days and years have gone by. What a source of inspiration, love, and dedication she has been to me. (With minor sprinklings of being irritating, heh.)

LOVE.THIS.GIRL.

All for Now

 An Update! An Update!

Girls, and Nick, and I are fine. We are less one dog…  But we are fine. It didn’t work to have 2 dogs. SO SAD. But we have found Fiddle (now named Lucky) a new home with a new family with kids, and no other dogs. He is much happier. And my house is much less hairy.

Nick got his motorcycle  up to the house finally. And took me on a ride. And it was so fun. VERY scary at first. VERY VERY VERY. I’m a VERY need to be in control kind of person, especially in a moving vehicle. It was definitely a sign of trust. That’s good for my soul.

I have been working on some really big projects for work, that are really draining me right now. They are good projects, and I am making head way, but needed a new outlet... and outside outlet. (I've only been sleeping on my free time. Always. Always need more sleep. Always need a nap.) So, I started the first couple steps of our very first vegetable garden. Hans and Emi were very helpful. Nick and Tony came by later after work and tilled the front yard too, and we put seed down. LOVE how my house is becoming a home.

Excited to spend the evening with my dad and some friends, to celebrate his 70th bday tomorrow night. (actual bday: March 19th.) *Hope* to get lots of good pics this year. This is a biggie. :)

Changes

Lots and Lots of changes....

First, James' beloved (I'm a big man, marine, roooar truck) took a dump. So... with lots of thought and thought and more thought a bit of tears... I came to the realization that its time was done. Oh it was a wonderful truck, with lots of fond memories. And it was a visual reminder of James. But, when  the heater went out, and then money went out. And then the transmission went out, and more money... and something else, and more money. I just couldn't do it any longer. On a brave day, with my big girl panties on, I decided that was they day. I took the truck....

AND my car. My saving 'I'll never own any car other than a benz', car... took them both, and traded them in...

 

For the below beauty. We call it a Tahoe. We call it a new age mommy van. We call it a, lets not pay for two vehicles any more, black beauty. With OnStar. Which is *GREAT* considering the rocky past I've had with cars and accidents and what nots.

 

We also got a dog. NEVER.EVER.THOUGHT. I'd hear those words come out of my mouth, or be put on my blog. But there it is. Fiddle is a love pie of a boxer, just over a year old. He is a sweet one, and super fun and playful, and so far only eats remotes and phones, but no shoes, and is perfect with the girls.

So... Fiddle (Plus Nick's dog, Hans.... who is hiding in the dog house) play well together, and with the girls. And play well, together, with the girls IN the dog house too. :) Fun.

Jackson has been away this year at college in Montana. And we miss him. He has been a BIG part of our lives. (I mean...really... I started dating James when Jackson was 5.) The girls miss him a lot. And Emi took the opportunity of having him home on Christmas,to snuggle with him, never mind the nap he was trying to take :)

These two little yay-hoo's continue to be cute and lovely. We are blessed.

Ok ok... and they are a little goofy too. Actually... honestly... mostly goofy. This really IS the norm. 

But the BIG news this year started really brewing around my birthday, as shown below. I wish we had a group shot. All of my favorite close by fam came, my dad, Grampy Jack, Grammy Syb, Stacie, Mike, Alicia, Jackson, Nick and the girls, Brittany, Kerri and Norm, my cousin Eric. It was super special. And my BFF happened to be there too, down from Petaluma, visiting her mom.

Right... so things were a brewing.

Nick had a little chat with my dad one night....

And then there was this :)
(With dad's blessing of course.)
I can't even begin to describe this all. Just super happy. A calm in my heart.

Soooooo... if this means... that I *potentially* get to be a princess for a day, or something.... I'm going to start dreaming now. And today's dream looks like this:

                                                                               ♥