Friday, November 14, 2014

How to Have a Crappy Day

1. Have a child go missing
2. Be sure her cell phone is broken and she doesn't deserve a new one
3. Have your cell phone also break one week prior
4. Make sure time change is in effect and that it is late at night and dark
5. Then pee your pants
6. Don't pay your gas card
7. Be out of gas
8. Circle the middle, elementary, and high school as fast as possible
9. Stay calm for an HOUR, then loose your shiz
10. Change your pants in dark school parking lot and feel like you're violating someone
11. Call Barb, the grandparents, the town Doc, check the church, and the library, at least 5 times each
12. Drive by the CHP and Sheriff multiple times
14. Be sure she is annoyed and belittles your fear of her being in ditch, hog-tied, and raped
15. RAGE
16. Almost crash the car
17. Get out of the wrong lane
18. Toast with hubby at the end of night to her safety. She wasn't hurt, by a stranger, or by me.

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