Monday, April 19, 2010

Learning...

Things I am learning that I really shouldn't be learning. I don't want to learn this stuff. Really I don't.

You find out who are your real friends, when they will:
- come and be with you when you tell your children their daddy has died
- help you pick out your husband's plot
- offer to call the coroner for you 'cause you just can't bring yourself to do it
- go with you to purchase your funeral outfit
- research which dress blues Marine Corps uniform I'm supposed to bury my husband in
- let me talk thru burying him with his wedding ring or without?
- fold at least 3 weeks worth of unmatched socks
- come climb into my bed, hug me tight, and let me just cry

Life has always presented its challenges in surplus to me. I manage. I deal. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't. And mostly things turn out ok. But this is not supposed to be how this turned out. We were supposed to grow old together and sit on our porch in our rocking chairs and watch the sunset. I was not supposed to end up a widow at 30.

7 comments:

Brittany said...

(((((meggie))))

trinity said...

Oh dear sweet friend my heart is breaking again and again for you. I am praying for you, that somehow, you will be comforted today. I wish I had more words to say, but they all seem trite. So I will just keep praying.

Keidi said...

Ugh! This comment is for God: That's enough loss, now, God. Our friend Meggie is strong enough, she doesn't need any more challenges to prove it. Give her a nice long period of peace, please. Years and years long, please. It's time to bless bless bless her, you hear??!! Thank you.


P.S. Nice to see you today, Meggie. I really like being blog friends, and I'm praying for you and your sweet girls.

Jennifer said...

I hate that you're having to learn any of this. I love you so much and I'm always thinking of you.

Cari J. said...

yep, ditto everything . . . I remember "the little yellow people" . . ugh . . sigh . . cry .. pray . . love

Rosalyn said...

Love you

allison said...

you dont deserve all of this, it makes me so frustrated and mad. i'll be here till the end of time for you... to listen, distract, comfort, anything. and i know it's not the same, but i'll swing on your porch w/ you :)