Day #13

I am not a people person. I LOVE people, most of the time, from far away, or in small doses. I am not social; I am not inclined to go out. I want to be at home all.the.time.

I don't want to talk about myself. Not to you, or anyone else. I am painfully, awkwardly, quiet and keep to myself. This is me. And it's ok. Others don't always think so. That's not my problem but it does start to eat away at me and my self perception... am I really an ok person? Should I be something different? Should I be just how you or he or she thinks is normal? Why???

I blog to help me release what's on my heart, work thru things on paper, and kind of document my journey. I have no desire to talk thru this stuff with people, or be questioned about it. Take it or leave it.

Tonight I ended my busy, disfunctional, perfectly anxiety ridden day by sitting on the deck at dusk, in my fancy new deck chairs, with a beer and my babe. This is my life. This is what I love. I embrace my quiet awkwardness. I believe I'm made like this for a reason, even if I don't know exactly what or why yet.