Situational Meg

Situation#1: Someone looks at me funny because I’m getting 2 coffees.
What I say: It's a two-fer day
What I really want to say: Listen here sucker. Yup I'm getting two LARGE coffees and I plan on drinking them both all by myself. Why bother driving here twice when I can already tell I need TWO. I'm saving gas, helping global warming and all that other crap you're going to blame me for. And actually truth be known, if I had more arms and more hands to carry them there coffees, I'd be getting one for each hand. No joke.

Situation#2: Someone I've known in passing at least twice a week for a couple years kind of as an acquaintance says "You work, Meg? Where do you work? I didn't know you worked. Didn't know you had a job... is it a real job a full time job?"
What I say: For a hospital, actually two...
What I really want to say: Really? Are you asking me this? I don't know if I should be flattered that I appear so light spirited that I'm not being dragged down by work every waking minute, or should I be offended because you and I have talked about my job before, but clearly you weren't listening ANY of those times. I think I'm done listening to you complain ALL.THE.TIME.

Situation#3: Hubby walks right into the bathroom while I'm sitting on the potty and asks "What are you doing?"
What I say: Nothing. Just glare.
What I really want to say: Hiding from my family

Situation#4:Unidentified person on Sunday nite proposes that our small group take the month of July off, and then reevaluate.
What I say: Sure
What I really want to say: Sure...fine. But are you sure you really want to do that? Because in my perfect world I would get to sit back and listen to the music every single day. But hey if you're game, I'll trade Sunday nites for every single day. Really your choice... let me know what works better for you. See how you totally don't have an option? =)