Home is Where Ever I am With You

Sometimes you can't really SEE what you're going thru until you're all the way thru it. You don't realize the totality of it, the weight of it until you're allll the way thru it. Sometimes when you're wading thru it it's one small step at a time... and you don't realize you've actually made it a mile.
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In February 2010 I was in a 'head down, don't make eye contact, please no one ask me how I am' frame of mind. I was still recovering from a bad car accident in January. James was still alive but not living at home. Due to some incredibly frightening PTSD episodes in addition to other complications he was removed from the home. This was challenging for the girls, for me to explain, and for family to understand.
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Stacie (my sister-in-law) found herself in a little pickle and on a whim I begged her to consider staying with me. Her current living situation was shady at best, and I wanted her safe. A few days later she took me up on the offer. I usually guard my space pretty closely.... it's not like me to beg someone to come live with me, but this was REALLY heavy on my heart.
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Just a week or so later it was clear that she made the right decision to not be at the old place. And, I was learning what it was like to have a sister. I grew up an only, lonely child (as I always called it.) Always longing for a sibling. My house was small but we made do. I scooted over in my bed and she promised she wouldn't snore too loud. She helped me make the kids accountable for the dishes after dinner. And then we'd have ice cream and wine.
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At the end of Feb my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Ugh. We cried. We made game plans to just sit on the deck forever in the sun and we would only ever need sunscreen and ice cream and wine. When we had to have tough conversations (with other people) on the phone, we put on a special pair of amazing hot pink soccer socks which we swore gave us magical strong super powers and we'd root the other one on.
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End of March I left to go with my dad down to Santa Monica, where he would get his picc line, and start his intensive rounds of chemo. I got to leave my 3 girls with her. Stacie played mom perfectly. She sent me pics of Emi (only 2.5 yrs old) in the kitchen sink for a bath and she drove the girls to school. She also walked right into one of the classrooms and called the teacher out in the middle of class when there was a problem that hadn't been resolved!!!
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When I got back from Santa Monica we had a few days and then Stacie, Emi, and I all got pneumonia. We were like the old hacking couple in bed. We couldn't laugh cuz then we'd start coughing or choking. And the vicious cycle repeats. Ha!!
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When I was finally well enough to get back to work in April I was working away on my first day back.... and got the news that James had died. Someone at work was able to get word to her. She came right home. Balling. She says "Have you called your dad? Have you called B?" Just being my brain essentially. And the rest of the next few days is a blur.
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She slept in Nat's bed that night James died. She was the perfect 2nd mommy/auntie to my girls. She helped me so much by just being there. Present. It was a mutual thing. We both had extremely hurtful, painful events we were living thru and growing past.
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I am constantly reminded of this verse when I think of how our lives unfolded just-so.
1Thessalonians 5:16-18 we are told to,"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." The Lord tells us here that we are to have an attitude of joy, thanksgiving and prayer at all times, no matter what the conditions or circumstances are that surround us.
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This verse does not mean that we are to thank God for bad things and tragedies that come our way. It means that we are to remain joyful no matter what is happening in our lives because we have the Lord.
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Stacie's pain of needing to move suddenly... James' horrendous PTSD and pain and subsequent death were nothing to be joyful over. And still God could work some amazingly beautiful transformations. He created this bond between me and Stace. A bond between Stace and the girls. He laid the groundwork that a safety net would be in place for each of us at our most vulnerable moments. He weaved the paths that would eventually bring day light again. I am So. Very. Thankful. To be a child of God and to have Stacie in my life.
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Today is her 30th birthday and she has been blessed beyond measure. And yet, she continues to bless those around her even more so. She is a fighter of the underdog, the unheard, the widows, the children, the elderly. She is one of my greatest treasures.♡